All About You

No one can do you better than you. You are the only one on the entire planet like you. Our unique gifts and talents and resources are given to us to play a role in life that nobody can play like you can. Nobody can beat you being you.

We see what we expect to see not what’s really there. Experience teaches us what to expect. Your mind is like the interstate highway system and it’s easy to go from one well traveled place to the next. You can get stuck in a mindset of failure! Where your only focus is on the mistakes, how you come up short time and again. Failure becomes the focus of your story. You break that cycle be simply looking with new eyes, adjust your focus just a bit. 

Your biography does not equal your destiny. Too often we believe that we are our past, that biography equals destiny, and it does if you live there. You cannot have a new year with an old mindset. Unless you get rid of the mindset of where you've been, you will never seize where you are going.

You have to remind yourself that it is decision that shapes destiny.  Explore the needs, beliefs and emotions that impact your decisions and your ability to contribute beyond yourself. The secret is to match what you do well with service to others. What are your strengths? 

It all begins with an honest self-assessment. What are the things you do well? What makes you feel strong? What kind of work makes you passionate? Too much time is spent focusing on how to improve an “area of opportunity.”Focus on your strengths, the things you do well and ask yourself this question; How can I develop and hone the strengths and skills I have? Sometimes we all struggle identifying our strengths because we spend so much time focused on the weaknesses.   

Machiavelli was quoted as saying; “The lives that we lead are dictated by the choices we make” Choose this day to focus on the great things about you that could be leveraged to solve challenges or make a difference in the lives of others. Choose right now to be your true authentic self and no one else. No one can play you better than you. You are unique with special gifts and talents, just like everybody else.

ON THE CUSP

I had a great day yesterday, I think?           

It is quite possible that I am coming into my own or I have created my very own Jerry Maguire moment.

I traveled to my companies corporate headquarters in Denver, Colorado and delivered a 3 hour presentation to a project team about to launch a big corporate initiative. These folks were tasked with creating "by-in" and launching a new culture, a new way of working, a new way of treating customers. My task was to offer some basic presentation skills.

The night before I left for my presentation, on the way home from picking up my new suit, my son Joseph said; "Dad, are you at the top of what you do? I mean at your job. Are you one of the best people at your job?" I was taken back a bit by the question and I paused before I answered and considered; what is the truth and what message do I want him to hear?

One thing I have come to learn is that by the time you figure out what life is all about its almost time to go. It takes many decades to get your head on straight, to figure out who you are and what you really want out of life. Funny thing is though, you think you have your head on straight, you think you know who you are and what will really make you happy and satisfied with your life. Then inevitably something will happen and you will eventually realize that you were off kilter just a bit, off-center or out of focus.

I had been advised to bring the "Corporate Joe." (as opposed to whom?)  I was told that this was a big opportunity to demonstrate my skills, it would be filmed and that there could possibly be some influential people in the audience. I was also partnered with one of our professional designers to help craft the message.  It was exactly what I have said I always wanted. When I was about Joseph's age, I wanted to work in an office building, doing what, I didn't know, but I wanted mirrored windows on the outside. When I got my first corporate training job it was in a building with tinted windows, close enough.

For a long time, I have felt as if I have been called for a purpose bigger than myself and that the work I do is what I was destined to do. This thinking has impacted how I do my work. Many people fail to realize that the key to unlocking their best future begins with an understanding of purpose. I have been looking for mine for some time. I think I know what it is but doubt makes you wonder. So when I became a trainer I thought, this is it, this is my purpose. Years later when I began to look closely at the work I do and its impact on the lives of others, that noble motive behind teaching others, I came to realize that I was not the great trainer I thought I was, from a technical and academic perspective, it was amazing anyone learned anything in my class.

I was not the best trainer, I was a good speaker. I have been blessed with the gift of being able to craft a compelling message and deliver it fairly well in front of an audience. In fact, I can make you think you had such great training, that you will have an insane sense of self-confidence, which will in turn, make you mostly successful on the job! Its called placebo education. Evidently, I have been doing it in one form or another almost my entire life and career. Starting with the hobo on the street to common man and the mid level executive, this has been my range of experience. Training may be not be my purpose after all, but can I still teach using my natural gifts and talents. (Telling isn't training but effective messaging is teaching.) I have now found my purpose.

My task was to demonstrate this on the first floor of our corporate headquarters, a six storied piece of architecture made of mirrored glass and black marble. New suite, haircut, a professionally designed message, my time to shine. It was also a second secret personal accomplishment. Like working in an office building with mirrored glass, I always wanted to fly in, deliver a presentation, and fly home, that was a signature of success for me as speaker. On this day, I would do both. It's awkward to admit it here.

With Joseph's question still on my mind I delivered my presentation from my heart using my true authentic self. I acknowledged some hard truths, made some comments that may move some people from their comfort zones, all of it on video tape. I am told it is going to be viewed in next weeks staff meeting in Denver. Maybe it will make a difference, maybe it will be a moment from Jerry Maguire, where hard truths, create hard feelings, at least they care, one way or another.

Now as I step into another year, I am standing at the cusp of a new awakening, a new season, a new purpose. Cultivated by my experiences, validated by the knowledge I've gained, I have come to understand that before you can deliver your message to anyone you must move them from a place of apathy, indifference, or the lack of great expectations. You must care before you hear.

My overall message was that our people are no different. They must understand that biography is not destiny. That even as good as we can make it right now, this is not as good as it gets! Not as good as it could be. That if they would seize their own destiny through service to others then the best is yet to come!  A message of hope and optimism, and we can help them get there. It is our responsibility to help them get there, we assumed that responsibility when we took that leadership role, that role of father or partner. Like raising a child, it is our duty to communicate in all that we say and do to the people we care about and support, that greatness is within their grasp, within their control. There’s something you learn from helping other people with their dreams that prepares you for your own. This was my message, I hope this is what they heard.

I achieved my purpose yesterday, in a lot of different ways. I will share one last secret personal sign of success for me as speaker. When I can move an audience to tears, I will have made it as a speaker.

Last night on the flight home, I reflected on my day and began to think about my answer to Joseph's question that evening before I left. I wouldn't be so bold as to say that I am the best. As I thought about the tears in the audience yesterday, particularly this one big mountain of a man, trying to casually wipe away a tear, I would humbly and gratefully say that I am on the cusp.